


Are There Such Things as Kitchen Laws?

by CasualCazz



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, First Date, Fluff, M/M, Underfell Papyrus, Underswap Papyrus, papcest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 08:31:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14733534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualCazz/pseuds/CasualCazz
Summary: Stretch freaks out while preparing for his first date with Edge





	Are There Such Things as Kitchen Laws?

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I have a lot of trouble writing fluff, but I will keep trying. I hope you guys enjoy! 
> 
> For @alicedragons, who requested an awkward but sweet first date with SpicyHoney. Part of the 50 Followers Drabble Request Event. 2/5 complete

It was quite plain and obvious to see Stretch’s and Edge’s attraction to each other. With their constant flirtatious remarks and inability to stand two feet apart from each other in public, no one was surprised to hear about their first date. The two skeletons made their feelings quite apparent to each other as well, without any need for dramatic confessions (much to Stretch’s relief and Edge’s dismay). However, what did surprise everyone, especially to Edge, was that Stretch was the first to ask him out on a date. The Fell monster was rarely caught off guard. His cheeks redden and his eye sockets widened, completely dropping his confidence pose. Edge nervously scratched the back of his neck, unable to meet Stretch’s eyes and gave him a quiet nod. The swap monster merely gave him a thumbs up. **  
**

When asked why Stretch had asked first, he just shrugged and explained that he didn’t want to keep waiting for Edge to do it. Knowing him, the lavious skeleton would’ve brought in five dozen roses, a string quartet, and maybe even airplane writing. Stretch just wanted to keep it simple and straight to the point. Then he realized. He’s going to have to be the one that planned the date. Stretch fucked up.

Which brings us to the present, with Stretch nervously setting the table. Position the utensils correctly. Light the candle. Fold the napkins. According to Blue’s dating manual (which Stretch never thought he’d use), he’s got the set-up correctly. A part of him feels guilty that their first date is dinner at his house, especially since they already hang out there all the time, but the swap monster doesn’t have the resources to take his date to an ultra fancy restaurant he knows that he’d like. So for now, this will work. Suddenly, a strong burning smell invades his senses and Stretch immediately rushes to the kitchen, panicking as he turns off the stove and slides the burnt steak into a plate. He grimaces at it’s burnt coat, then cuts off a small portion to check the insides. Medium brown. That means it’s still edible right? It still doesn’t look appetizing however, so he grabbed a jar of alfredo sauce and coats it around the seared steak to cover up the color. Alfredo works with chicken, steak should pretty much be the same anyway. The poor swap monster sighs in frustration, tugging at the collar of his suit. He hates this stupid thing. Glancing over at the poor food preparation, he wonders if it’s too late to cancel the date, but knowing Edge, he wouldn’t appreciate that. Stretch clenches his fists his irritation boiling. He knows that he’s not a bad cook! But Edge would want something fancy and that’s completely out of his skill range! The skeleton closes his eyes and centers himself. There’s no use getting mad. He might accidentally take it out on his date.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Stretch nearly jumps. Smoothing out any leftover wrinkles on his outfit, he hides his apprehensiveness and opens the door. Edge strolls in with grace, wearing a perfectly fitted black tuxedo with a red tie that shapes his form nicely. Stretch suddenly feels baggy in his.

“YOU’RE WEARING A SUIT!” the fell skeleton comments.

His soul shudders in anxiety. Is it that bad? Did he mess up? Is it inside out? Stretch just shrugs, “It’s our first date. I thought it would fit.”  

Edge rolls his eyes at the pun and leans into Stretch. Forgetting his manners, the swap monster leads his date into the dining room and pulls out a chair for him. Edge looks at him strangely, but Stretch thought nothing of it. Instead, he unscrews the wine and pours it delicately into their glasses. Edge takes a sip and his raises his brow, impressed.

“THIS…IS DELICIOUS. WHAT IS IT?”  he asks.

Stomped grapes and tequila. Like Stretch could afford nice wine.

“That’s a secret,” the skeleton winks and brings out their meals.

Stretch sets the plates down as the single wax candle flickers between them. Edge’s expression doesn’t betray any emotions, while Stretch wonders if his date could see right through his cool facade. He watches nervously as Edge takes a bite out of his steak. His dark eye sockets widen subtly, but he politely chews and swallows. Stretch needs to find the nearest bridge jump off it. His stomach churns as the back of his neck breaks out in sweat, unsure how to deal with the awkwardness.

“DID YOU MAKE THIS YOURSELF?”

Stretch gives him a single nod.

Edge wipes his mouth with a napkin, “YOU FOOL! THIS DISH IS CLEARLY SUPPOSED TO BE MADE WITH A PARTNER!”

“Wha?” Stretch tilts his head in confusion, pretty sure that’s not a thing.

“DID YOU BUY ANY EXTRA MEAT?” the fell monster asks.

Stretch says yes and Edge pushes his chair back, stands up, and lace his hands around Stretch’s arms, then leads him into the kitchen. He rummages through the fridge, tossing the two extra raw steak on the counter, including an onion and peppers. Working his way around, Edge grabs two cutting boards and places the meat on them.

“Edge if you want, we can go somewhere to-”

“NONSENSE! WHY MUST WE GO OUT WHEN WE CAN HAVE A MEAL PREPARED BY THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS!” Edge scoffs, “AND YOU’RE GOING TO HELP ME! POUND THE MEAT!”

The fell skeleton tosses him a pair of kitchen gloves and Stretch hesitantly slips it on, punching the steak lightly.

“IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?! HARDER!”

The swap monster obeys and adds a bit more force.

“HARDER!”

Stretches tries again.

“HARDER!”

This is getting a little familiar.

“IMAGINE THAT STEAK AS YOUR GREATEST ENEMY! LET THE PASSIONS OF RAGE FUEL YOUR ATTACKS. IT’S MOCKING YOU! TAUNTING YOU! ARE YOU GOING TO LET IT DEFEAT YOU?!”

Stretch pounds the steak with both fists, striking it with pull force repeatedly, as his untapped rage coursed through him. He pants heavily as Edge stops him and checks on the food. A smile stretches across his face as he pats his back in approval.

“GOOD! NOW ONE OTHER THING…” the fell skeleton wraps himself behind Stretch’s back, undoing his tie and unbuttoning his jacket.

“What are you doing?” Stretch asks.

“IT’S AGAINST KITCHEN LAW TO WEAR NICE CLOTHING WHILE PREPARING THE MEAL!”  he simply states.

Once the buttons are loosened and his suffocating tie off, Stretch lets out a breath of relief, his shoulders automatically slouching and relaxing. Edge smirks slyly, and pulls the other monster closer to him by the collar, their mouths only a few centimeters apart. For the first time that night, Stretch forgets his easy going mask and blows his eyes wide, orange blush dusting across his face.

“Perfect,” Edge purrs, “You look better like this,”

Stretch tilts his head, pressing his teeth against the other’s, his bones tingling. He could feel Edge’s smile widen as he nuzzles in closer. Stretch backs up against the counter and hops on as his date intertwined his fingers into his. This feels more right. Edge is the first to separate, reading Stretch’s flustered expression and laughs, joyous and pure on his scarred face. The two of them return to cooking and once finished, instead of eating at the table Stretch so nicely decorated, the two grab plastic plates and a bottle of real wine that Edge brought just in case. The two make home on the couch, with Edge’s arm around Stretch’s shoulder. The fell monster chooses a random horror movie, and the two spend the rest of the night, digging into their dinner and making fun of the horrid plotline.

Hours later, Stretch wakes up on the couch, with Edge snoring softly under him. He smiles and runs a finger along his jawline, then lays on top of his chest, falling back asleep to the sound of his soul beat.

**Author's Note:**

> [ Follow me on my tumblr for earlier updates ](http://www.casualbones.tumblr.com)


End file.
